12 Days of Christmas Parody: The 12 Days of Christmas by @CrayonWrangler


Alycia’s Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer was such a fabulous hit, she’s back with an encore. This time, she tackles The 12 Days of Christmas. Hold your applause until the end, please.

On the first day of Christmas,
my Postpartum gave to me
A need to weep and flee.

On the second day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the third day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Three box of kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Four friends a-calling,
Three box of Kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Five sleepless nights,
Four friends a-calling,
Three box of Kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Six people judging,
Five sleepless nights,
Four friends a-calling,
Three box of Kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Seven new pills to take,
Six people judging,
Five sleepless nights,
Four friends a-calling,
Three box of Kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Eight moods a-minute,
Seven new pills to take,
Six people judging,
Five sleepless nights,
Four friends a-calling,
Three box of Kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Nine pounds lost and found,
Eight moods a-minute,
Seven new pills to take,
Six people judging,
Five sleepless nights,
Four friends a-calling,
Three box of Kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Ten irrational thoughts,
Nine pounds lost and found,
Eight moods a-minute,
Seven new pills to take,
Six people judging,
Five sleepless nights,
Four friends a-calling,
Three box of Kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Eleven new PPD articles,
Ten irrational thoughts,
Nine pounds lost and found,
Eight moods a-minute,
Seven new pills to take,
Six people judging,
Five sleepless nights,
Four friends a-calling,
Three box of Kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my Postpartum sent to me
Twelve more boxes of Kleenex,
Eleven new PPD articles,
Ten irrational thoughts,
Nine pounds lost and found,
Eight moods a-minute,
Seven new pills to take,
Six people judging,
Five sleepless nights,
Four friends a-calling,
Three box of Kleenex,
Two hours of anxiety,
A need to weep and flee!

 

_______________________________

Alycia is the author at “Coloring Me Happy” and is formerly known as Crayon Wrangler. Widow, Suicide Survivor, Mother of 3, blending a family of 8 children and trying to get enough coffee. She’s tired. Also a photographer, she has learned to narrow the focus of the big picture into the little moments that matter the most in both pictures and her life.

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