Write Like Jackson Pollack


It’s late. I’m tired. All I can think of at the moment is pulling a Jackson Pollack, but with words as I watch the cast of The Big Bang Theory stuck in the desert dressed as the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Snow fell here today. Quite a bit of it. Did it change the landscape? Well, no. It’s still snowy, just as it was yesterday. Our snow piles are growing, however. It needs to warm up soon or I fear that the snow will develop artificial intelligence and trap us all in our homes if it hangs around much longer. That’s not gonna end well for anyone, especially if the snow refuses to let me out for sushi. Mmmmmmm. Sushi.

Speaking of not ending well for anyone, the company we currently rent from sent a front-end loader to plow today. Despite it being the biggest piece of machinery they have sent to plow yet, it was also the only piece of machinery I witnessed nearly spinning out in the middle of our road. A Kawasaki 65Z II, at that. I attempted to get video but by the time my camcorder activated, the spinning tire sessions were sadly over.

I cooked dinner tonight. Wow, there’s a sad boring sentence, huh? What did I make? A lovely chicken fried rice. This is going nowhere fast. Better pick another random topic for the next paragraph.

I glanced at the numbers. I’m barely halfway there. Sighs. My eyes are halfway closed too. Coincidence? I think not.

I finished a book I am reading for research today. Fascinating stuff. I really wish I could share it with you but the writing process is top secret right now so I can’t. The fact that I understood most of it without googling or using a dictionary for every other word was extremely validating. Reading it was wonderful but understanding it was completely energizing.

I’m hungry. They show pizza commercials late at night just to torture an old soul with heartburn, don’t they? Seriously. Pizza would be so delicious right now but a) giant blizzard blew through today, b) even if there wasn’t a giant blizzard today, most pizza places are closed or almost closed by now, and c) I’d be awake at 2am with heartburn cursing myself for eating the pizza to begin with. But I still want pizza, dammit. MMMMMMmmmmmm. Pizza. (I bet you want pizza now too. Curse Pizza Hut because that’s the commercial I saw).

Bed would be nice right about now. You ever notice how on TV, beds always look super comfy? So much more comfy than any bed you’d ever sleep in at home, right? I finally sleep in a bed that’s as comfy as I imagine the ones on TV to be. We have the best comforter ever thanks to Target and Nate Berkus. It’s fluffy, light, and absolutely perfect. Once nestled in properly, it’s as if I am in a cocoon made of the most wonderful fluff on the planet, nay, the universe. Couple that with my tempurpedic pillow and snuggles with J as I drift off? Oh.My.Heaven.

I am almost done now, rambling as I am whilst half asleep. I am sure you’ll be relieved.

Time to go curl up in bed and dream of little naked men wearing diapers shooting arrows into people’s asses because YAY, Valentine’s Day starts in just 30 minutes!  GO MOSTLY NAKED LOVE ARCHERS! DO YOUR THING!

Baby and Maternity Fair Details


This past Saturday was the big day.

And no, I did not sing. Alli didn’t want to practice last week and I only had one couple attend my presentation. They were expecting their first so it didn’t apply. (PHEW! Talk about dodging a bullet!)

Overall the day went well. I had a lot of folks stop at my booth and ask questions. Are you ready for this though? The most talkative ones were the DADS! YES, THE DADS! I was ecstatic to have so many fathers genuinely interested in Postpartum Depression and finding out what they could do to help their partners. Oh those lucky lucky mamas!

I did make some great contacts, one of them being the director of the local Midwifery clinic at one of the hospitals. She wants me to present at their next departmental meeting in September. (YAY). A local Psychologist also introduced himself to me and seemed to be happy about the peer support I provide to for the community.

I am still exhausted and don’t have time to rest or really write much more as I have to prepare for a meeting in Atlanta tomorrow evening. I’ll tell you more about that after tomorrow. When I’ve had time to rest and can operate without the toothpicks propping my eyes open. As it is now, the couch is seriously calling my name and I’m doing everything I can to resist but I have this feeling resistance is futile and won’t last much longer.

Sleep – thou hast abandoned me!


Sleep – where hast thou gone?

To what corner of the Earth have you crept away to?

Distant memories, oh, kind fond memories

Of when we would lay together in harmony

well past Three (p.m.)

Oh how I miss thee, Sleep.

Oh, how I miss thee, Sleep.

I have met many a new hour since last we rested

Entangled together under cool sheets.

One a.m., two, three, even four.

And did you know – there is a FIVE A.M. as well?

The occasional affair with you, oh sleep, is cruel –

A tease, you lull me into dreams and comforting thoughts.

Leading me to sprawl about the bed with expectations of rest

Dancing about my head.

Until you jet off again – leaving me stranded upon my bed.

Eyes wide open and body wanting to melt deeper into the comfort

Of the mattress while my mind compels me to awaken.

Sleep – come home.

COME HOME.

I need thee – more than thee shall ever know!

-lauren hale-