2014: Breathe, Yawp, Live

‘Tis the season to split oneself between the nostalgia of days gone by and the promising anticipation of sparkling new things yet to arrive. It’s the time of year we find ourselves inundated by “Best of” lists and the ever daunting “resolution” lists. December ends and January begins in an odd state of limbo swirling around us as if it were a beautiful and haunting blizzard threatening to swallow us whole if we stopped long enough to stare at the accumulating drifts of lists beneath our feet.

Is it okay for us to stop and stare at this vortex of nostalgia and anticipation? Will we be awestruck by the ferocity of the electricity dancing about in the overhead clouds? Or should we doggedly march forward, one right after the other, heads down, ignoring the invigorating storm?

Stop and smell the roses, we are told. But we are also told not to let the grass grow under our feet. Take the road less traveled, it will make all the difference. Do not go gentle into the good night, rage, rage against the light. We are all meant to meet that light one day. But until then, take the road less traveled and refuse to do anything less than rage against it. Yawp until you can yawp no more. Live life, don’t let life live you.

We seek, in life, a balance of joy and sorrow. We reach for joy when the sorrow shreds our soul to the bone, bleeding our hearts dry until there is nothing left, not even the marrow to suck out of life. So we are still, frozen, in grief, pain, whatever the reason, until joy surges forward and replenishes the marrow and our life force. With this resurgence comes the drive to rage against life. How do I know this? Because I have been there – splayed open for the world to see, my heart atrophied and hardened on the bare floor, aching for hope and love. It stayed there awhile, resigned to never finding love again, trapped in the penumbra of a hovel deep in the woods. Yet, it still beat and now, it is full of life-blood, dancing in the light of joy because of a daring rescue.

I wish that for those who read this. I know so many who have lost or faced difficult changes this past year. I am here to tell you that it gets better. The grey lifts, the sun rises, and the sky does fill with spectacular colour. It never stopped. It’s just waiting for you rise up from beneath the waves and see the tango of exploding soft oranges, pinks, and pale blues as you watch, breathlessly, the sun languidly traverse a cerulean sky until the clouds, holding hands, bed the sun beneath the horizon. As your feet find the shore, caressing the wet sand for the first time in eons, you exhale, letting go of the shattered soul which has claimed you for far too long. You slink out of your old soul and into your new one, the promises of joy filling your heart with a joy more beautiful than any fully bloomed scarlet rose covered gently in sweet morning dew.




This, this is your year.

Make it so.

Friday Soother 03.04.11: Maya Angelou walks with butterflies

"Drinking Butterfly" by Lauren Hale via HTC Hero

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.

~Maya Angelou~

Friday Soother 1.28.11: Emerson grows a Crocus… and teaches patience


"Spring by the Riverside" by Alana@VIsle @ flickr


Adopt the pace of nature:  her secret is patience.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

(View the photo in it’s original glory here)

Psalm 37:5

praying hands

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.

This morning I spent in the confines of a local courthouse awaiting legal ramifications from my accident on March 29th earlier this year. Chris, his dad, and our pastor were all with me. And God was there, surrounding all of us and comforting me as I sat and waited. And waited some more. And some more.

We spoke with the prosecutor and shared with him my extenuating circumstances. Thankfully he took compassion on my situation and the court was merciful. I am on probation and will have to pay fines as well as restitution. Probation will end early if I pay restitution, fines, and provide proof of insurance and an up to date tag on any vehicle I own. I did not have any points placed on my license for the accident or the insurance and for that I am grateful. They could have taken away my license if they had wanted to do so. And when we called about restitution after arriving home, it had been reduced significantly. Let’s hope it stays that way!

I am relieved court is over and we can continue to move forward. There’s still a long road ahead of us but we are grateful for the opportunity to grow in our marriage and in our relationship with the Lord.