Two Hours to finish a Smoothie?


My attempt at hiding Alli’s medicine in a smoothie failed miserably.

It took nearly two hours for her to finish the thing and if I had recorded the sounds she was making the entire time, you’d expect me to be announcing the birth of a child after it was all over. Seriously!

What the heck is going on here??? Why won’t my kid take her medicine? Chris says it’s because she’s got his discerning palate which means she’ll be a chef someday. I don’t care about someday, I told him. All I care about is that she take her medicine now so she can go back to school.

I just got off the phone with a very unfortunate nurse at my pediatrician’s office who’s first suggestion was to hid the medicine in some yogurt or pudding. Were you NOT listening to what I just told you about the friggin smoothie???  The medicine was hidden in blended layers of frozen blueberries, yogurt, banana, and blueberry juice. AND SHE KNEW IT WAS THERE!!!! Then the nurse brilliantly told me to hide it in some Sunny D. Listen here sweetheart, my kid’s got strep. I’m not giving her something as acidic as Sunny D. Correct me if I’m wrong but I believe that’d be a bit like rubbing salt in an open wound. And then Brilliant Nurse Idiot suggested I not let Alli see me put the medicine in whatever I’m hiding it in. Really? Oh My God. Thank YOU for that brilliant tip. I HADN’T THOUGHT OF THAT ONE!!!! The pediatrician is supposed to call me back. I think I got a bit too belligerent on the phone but I’m at my wit’s end, can ya blame me?

I want to go curl up in our bed and go to sleep.  I think I will right after the ped calls me back.

Anyone have a tracking number for that Cuervo?

What happened to my happy cave?


Seriously – where’d the happy cave go?

It’s MIA.

Maybe The Others have obsconded with it and the island it was hidden away on. Maybe Jack and Sayeed need to come rescue me. Ok, so no maybe to the rescue. I definitely need some rescuing.

As you know, Alli’s sick. This morning as I was trying to force her medicine into her (she won’t cooperate, I’ve tried every trick in the book too), she threw up. On me. On the bed. On her hair. Everywhere. Fun.

Charlotte is in this fantastic stage of non-compliance with household rules and lack of reaction to discipline. I have lost count of how many times I’ve had to haul her twin mattress back up onto her bed. This morning, she took her pull-up off even though there was poopy in it. Again, Fun. You know that point you get to when you’re so angry there’s nothing left to do but laugh? Yeah. I’m there. SO there. Where the hell is my Margarita? I WANT MY MARGARITA AND SOME FRIGGIN CALGON PEOPLE!

Cameron? Well, he’s the bright spot. He’s been doing great. We have a blast together. He started clapping the other day. I walked in and he was just laying there, staring at the ceiling and apparently clapping for the Amazing Ceiling Dust Fuzz Acrobatic team. He stopped and when I tried to get him to do it again he smacked his face. Repeatedly, while grinning. Silly baby. Thank HEAVEN for silly billy babies!

As I sit here writing this, I’m listening to the bam and boom of the girls tearing up their room. I will admit I’m still sitting here because I don’t want to go back there – I’m scared of what I might find and how pissed off it might make me. I need to shower for the Meet & Greet tonight. I need to at LEAST get my make-up on because as soon as Chris gets home, I need to be walking out the door and will not have time to shower then. So much for planning on getting anything done during naptime. I hate that the house is a wreck but frankly I get run so ragged by the kids during the day that I don’t have time to straighten up. I’m lucky I can keep up with the basics.

Uh Oh.

They’re yelling now.

Perhaps I should go.

And perhaps you should pray.

And send Calgon.

And Margarita Mix.

And some Jose Cuervo.

Why are you still sitting there????