My mind is quiet today.
It shouldn’t be, there is a lot going on up there.
But as I wander through the aisles, it’s as if everything on the shelves suddenly disappears just as I reach for it to place it in my cart. My hand passes through empty space instead of jars filled with thoughts and feelings. Every aisle is the same. Full as I start my trip down each new row, list in my hand, I arrive at the desired item only to have it vanish as soon as I reach out.
Finally, I abandon my cart and leave it to dissipate along with my thoughts, finally understanding there’s no point to continuing this exercise in futility. I exit the store and enter a field covered in poppies, a babbling brook coursing through the middle of the stimulating red flowers and soothing green blades of sweet grass. Butterflies flit to and fro, bumblebees hum as they gorge themselves upon sweet pollen.
My mind is empty today.
Busy, but empty.
A contradiction in action.
For now, I’m drifting in the silence, listening to soft murmuring thoughts, and contemplating the meanings behind their syllabic cadence. I’m letting the poppies grow across my body and losing myself in their aromatic fragrance carried across me by a gentle breeze. Giving myself permission to just be in the midst of the melange of introspection, losing myself in a soothing chimera.
How are you spending today?
My Postpartum Voice 